oboeinsight

You are at rehearsal. Break time has just been called. How long do you think it takes to swab and pack up an oboe? Think about it.

Now think about this: how long do you think it would take for someone to knock that instrument over if it’s not packed up?

Yep. Stuff happens. Pack your instruments up for break. It’s just safer. I confess I used to leave my oboe on my chair. But I will also confess I sat on my oboe once when I did that! (Fortunately I caught myself before my full weight was on the oboe.) I’ve seen people knock over an instrument that was seemingly “safe” on a chair, too. So no more chair-oboe for me. I would never leave it on the stand during breaks either. I see colleagues do that rather frequently. Call me paranoid, but it’s just too easy to knock the darn thing over (and we in California live in earthquake country, so there’s that too!).

The next time I hear a student blame another musician for breaking his or her instrument because the student didn’t pack it up I think I’m going to scream.

Or at least roll my eyes.

They all know how I feel about putting instruments away.

Oh … and put the reeds away too, please! Reeds are tiny little beasts that non-reed players often can’t see. They seem to be invisible to many other musicians. But you all know how they can break. And you all know how a cracked one can ruin a whole day. So just put the darn things in the reed case, and put the reed case somewhere safe (NOT on the stand!). Trust me, it’s worth the time it takes to do that. I know.

I also would strongly recommend you not ask a friend to hold your oboe or your reed for you as you run to do something else. I can’t tell you how many students come in saying a friend broke a reed or messed up an oboe. Again, I blame the oboist. I’m mean that way.

That is all. You’re welcome.

I do hope everyone knew I was joking when I wrote We don’t need no stinkin’ conductor!, but in case you thought I was serious I’m back to tell you I have great respect for good conductors. Bad ones? Not so much respect.

But I am most definitely not a conductor!

The other evening I coached the wind section of the UCSC orchestra. On music I didn’t know. At all.

It was not a pretty sight.

I “conducted”, so to speak, but I’m thankful no one but the wind section had to witness it. (I’m sorry they had to see me, though.) In my dreams I’d be a good conductor. Better than most, really. But the reality of it all? Sigh. Less than stellar.

But I had to do it so I did. At some points I’d see some of the players whisper and laugh. I couldn’t help but wonder if they were just astounded at my lack of ability. They are a nice bunch of students — last quarter I played with the group and I enjoyed that. I hope they realize that conducting is not something I’ve ever pursued. As I told them, I took conducting in college, but the group I worked with when I conducted Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring was simply flawless. Because it was a recording! We didn’t have an opportunity to conduct an orchestra. Instead we used a record. I waved my arms. The recording played perfectly. It wasn’t a terribly helpful way to learn how to conduct, but I passed the class and that was my only goal. Now I wish I’d had an instructor who actually forced me to learn and do a better job. Ah well … there are a multitude of things I would do differently if I were in college now.

So anyway, I guess I survived the evening of coaching, and I hope the winds did as well. I’m sure they’ll be happy to have a real conductor back in front of them soon.