I am now halfway through the run of the show I’m playing. In some ways it feels as if I’ve been doing it forever. In other ways, not so much. Mostly this summer has been so darn surreal I feel as if I’m in a fog.
As most readers (all two or three of you?!) know, my mother passed away at the end of May. Now I’ve lost my mother-in-law as well. My husband’s mother Elinor died last night. Two major lossing in one summer is very difficult to fathom, much less bear, but still I have to continue doing what I do, and we all have to carry on. I was telling a pitpal™ that I even knew a woman who played a concert after losing her husband less than 24 hours prior to the start of that concert. I think the performer’s life is just different … we manage to get through our work even while grieving. Not always, mind you, but much of the time. Part of it is that what we do, while very stressful at times, is so much a part of “us”. In some ways it’s comforting. And we can cry through our instruments. Last night, playing a solo, I thought of my mother-in-law. Other times I’m thinking of my own mother. Always, I’m praying through the solo. It’s just how it goes for me.
So today is a sad day, but it’s also celebratory, in that my mother-in-law raised four lovely children, one of whom is right here in this house with me!